The Tatoo

[hijk573]

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
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So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too. As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist asks, "If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

[hijk573]

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.

The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: michael jordan shoes sale
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free shipping wholesale jordan shoes"Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.

"How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

[jack0012coen]

New evidence strongly suggests a Southern California family that disappeared in early February voluntarily left for Mexico, investigators said Tuesday.
But key questions about the mystery remain, and the apparent inactivity of bank cards, credit cards and cellphones since they vanished continues to baffle police and trouble family members.
"I've been in this business for over 35 years but never seen anything like this," Lt. Dennis Brugos of the San Diego Sheriff's Department told CNN.
"This whole thing doesn't add up," Michael McStay, the brother of Joseph McStay, said in a phone interview. "If they left, I don't need to know why. The bottom line is, I need to make sure they are OK."Information gathered on the home computer of Joseph and Summer McStay indicates the couple was making travel inquires about Mexico on the Internet a week before they were reported missing, Brugos said."It had to do with travel in Mexico with children and whether you needed to have passports for children," Brugos said. "It looks as if there were some planning."
The McStays and their children, Gianni, 4, and Joseph, 3, have not been seen or heard from since February 4.The McStays' two dogs were found unattended, without food or water, in the San Diego-area home, investigators said.
McStay's brother, who initially feared the family might have been kidnapped, still believes they are in danger.sto gold"They can't fend for themselves," he said. "If something did happen in Mexico, I would not be able to live with myself."A sport utility vehicle belonging to the McStays was found abandoned on February 8 two blocks from the San Ysidro border checkpoint into Mexico, authorities said.Surveillance video taken that evening appears to show the family "casually" walking into Mexico, the sheriff's department said.Brugos believed the four individuals seen on the security footage bear a strong resemblance to the missing family, including the hats the children wore and the woman's boots and coat.
Brugos said the cheap wow power levelingsheriff's office was meeting Tuesday with the department's liaison detectives in Mexico."There is nothing to suggest any criminal involvement in their disappearance, but we would like to find the family," Brugos said.